Why Observing the 40 Days Postpartum is Essential to Motherhood
In the last 75 years, birth has left the home and in turn, left the hands of women. This change has also bled into postpartum care, which has moved toward a more isolated state. But recently there has been a movement among women to reclaim this sacred time.
Unfortunately, few women live close to their mothers or have a relationship that welcomes extended stays during the postpartum period. We have lost generations of wisdom on how to care for each other during recovery. And we don’t value a slow recovery period because of our consumer culture.
This likely isn’t because the mother chooses to only take a 2-6 week “break” from work. Even if mom doesn’t work outside the home, maintaining a thriving home environment is a full-time job. There may be a tendency to ask why waiting 40 days after giving birth to resume activities such as exercise, intercourse, or social functions is even necessary.
The thought of slowing down may not only feel impossible but selfish.
But what if I told you that slowing down in the postpartum period would lead to quicker recoveries, lower rates of postpartum depression, higher rates of successful breastfeeding, and stronger relationships between mothers and their babies?
Across the world, we have beautiful traditions of honoring the postpartum period. Sadly, few of these traditions are still practiced, and as a result, mothers are isolated, left to recover quickly and without the help they need and deserve.
Along with the cultural tradition of postpartum, there is a Christian perspective that has been lost in many modern denominations. The Orthodox Christian church, which dates back to the time of the Apostles of Christ, still honors the first 40 days postpartum, which finds its history directly from the Old Testament.
So, if honoring the postpartum period is seen across the globe, why do we have more and more mothers drowning in anxiety and depression, unable to recover well and breastfeed their babies?
I believe that if we begin to remember our traditions and see them as a gift of slowing down and not as a punishment we may begin to see happier and healthier mothers and babies.
A Cultural Perspective on Postpartum Care
There are many similarities in postpartum traditions around the world. They urge the mother to slow down, rest, breastfeed the baby, eat warm nourishing food, and surround herself with other women who can help keep the household running.
In China, grandmothers treat new mothers as gently as newborns. Feeding them warm milk drinks and giving the mother daily warm oil massage. They also advise the mother to keep herself and the baby warm so their bodies don’t lose the energy they need to heal.
In India, Ayurvedic medicine leads them through a postpartum period that is filled with herbs and spices for healing and breastmilk production. Mothers return to their parent’s home for a time so she and the new baby can fully rest and not worry about the chores and hustle and bustle of daily life.
Native American tribes hold the tradition that honors the “lying in” period after birth which is filled with rituals and ceremonies for both mother and baby. Wise women hold fast to recipes reserved only for that time, which heal and nourish the mother.
In Indonesia, they burn a candle for 40 days to honor the new life that has arrived. The midwife visits daily to massage the mother, feed her, and check on the baby. For 40 days, the mother is honored and cared for while she does the job of nurturing the newborn.
Korea, the Ivory Coast, Malaysia, and the Middle East all have incredibly beautiful traditions that keep the mother and infant fed, loved, and the rest of her family taken care of.
A Christian Perspective on Postpartum Care
So if all these cultures keep the postpartum period as a sacred time, it only makes sense that it can be found in the Christian church as well.
Leviticus 12, in The Old Testament, lays out the law given to Moses by God. It addresses the practices that should be followed by women after they have given birth. Whether she births a son or daughter, she stays away from the temple so that she can heal, “until the days of her purification are completed.” After her time of healing and rest, she returns to the temple and offers thanksgiving and sacrifice to God.
Today, that looks a little different because Orthodox Christians do not offer sacrifice since we believe Jesus Christ fulfilled the old law and no longer requires sacrifice.
The Church honors this tradition by prescribing that the mother and baby stay home for 40 days and then they come back to the church, prayers are said, and she and the baby are welcomed back into the community as strong and well-rested bodies.
As a mother who has experienced this beautiful tradition, I can say that this is an incredible blessing. A time to rest and honor the gift that God has given me.
If your labor was anything like my four, they were hard. Emotionally and physically. But also, filled with joy and thanksgiving beyond measure.
So, it only makes sense that God gives us time to rest, bond, and pray.
Modern Day Postpartum
Today, the majority of women, 98% in fact, birth their babies in hospitals where they stay 24-48 hours post-birth and then are sent home with nothing more than a “Good luck! See you in 6 weeks!”
It’s no wonder that parents are feeling isolated more now than ever and women are experiencing higher rates of postpartum anxiety and depression. Not to mention the low rates of breastfeeding in our country as well as the frazzled state many mothers report living in after their baby is born.
Luckily there is a movement of women listening to their ancestors calling them to remember the care of women.
Postpartum doulas are popping up all over. Some specialize in Ayurvedic tradition, while some just tap into the knowledge that we all have about taking care of one another. There are even “confinement hotels” in China offering a “red carpet experience” to women after having their babies. In many church communities, meal trains and cleaning schedules are put together by the community to help the new mother.
Remember Tradition, Take Care of the Mother
I know that it sounds next to impossible to have a postpartum that is filled with massages, warm milk, and no housework. Trust me, I’ve lived it. However, I do believe that there has to be a better answer than the single six-week postpartum check-up and telehealth call to a lactation consultant.
What if as a community we decided that we would fill in the gaps that the hospitals just aren't able to fill? It could be as simple as running a meal train through your friend group, throwing the mother a “post-birth” party where you clean the house, cook nourishing food, and let her take a nap.
Maybe it’s more of us offering our service of house cleaning, meal prep, babysitting, or dog walking, to the mom we meet at the park or grocery store.
What if it’s just starting a postpartum support group at your church and bringing back the 40-Day Honoring, encouraging mothers to slow down and rest, instead of pushing themselves to the limits, which only makes everyone suffer?
Honoring the postpartum period doesn’t have to be something only done in other cultures. It first starts with noticing the problem and doing one small thing to help the next mom you meet.
Instead of asking a new mother only about her baby’s sleeping and eating patterns, ask her how she is doing, listen, and respond as necessary. There’s no need to fix her, but if you can help, do it. Rarely does a mother not need help but all too often she doesn’t know how to ask for it.
How did your postpartum pan out? Drop a comment below! If you like this blog, share it with your mom friends 🤗
