An Orthodox Christian Woman’s Guide to Honoring the 40 Days Postpartum
“You birthed a baby, and you birthed yourself into a new phase of life. There is no more pronounced shift in body, mind, and spirit than becoming a mother.” -Kimberly Ann Johnson
Postpartum is one of the most tender times in life. Your body is tender from the impact of labor and birth. Your heart is tender with newfound love that was unknown before now. And your soul is tender with the effects of God’s glory and love for humanity.
Though the throws of labor and birth may have just been moments ago — or still yet to come — we are given fruit to our labors. As our Sweet Jesus tells us, ‘“A woman in labor suffers for the reason that her time has come; But when she has given birth to the child, she no longer remembers the distress for joy that a human being has been born into the world." (John 16:21) We become true participants in creation through childbirth and God honors that by giving us joy beyond measure.
And as our Lord implies, with the joys of motherhood also comes the strain of delivery. Unlike popular belief, women’s bodies don’t simply “bounce back” after birth. They need time to heal and recover.
It can come as a shock to some modern women and their families that the Orthodox Church still observes the 40 days of postpartum, much like many native cultures, which I talk about in this article. But today, I’d love to explore why the Orthodox Church honors the early postpartum period and encourages the woman and child to stay home and recover from childbirth.
The more babies I have the more I realize how sacred the early postpartum is and how much I need to cherish it. So let’s explore why the church prescribes it, why we need it, and how we can still preserve a liturgical life through the 40-day postpartum period.
Scroll to the end for a downloadable PDF of this guide.
Why Does the Orthodox Church Honor the 40 Days Postpartum?
In true Orthodox fashion, we take the tradition of the 40 days postpartum from the Old Testament. Even though Jesus Christ fulfills the old covenant, there are a few reasons we still observe and honor this time.
Leviticus 12 gives us the reference for the time of purification after childbirth — 40 days for a male child and 80 days for a female.
The holy Virgin Mary fulfills this time with Jesus Christ and we honor and remember her, as seen in Luke 2:22.
40 days is considered a holy number within the Church seen throughout the Old and New Testaments
The Orthodox Church preserves tradition. If it was good enough for them, it’s good for us. If God intended for women to rest and stay away from the temple then there must be a reason beyond gatekeeping or punishment.
Is the Time Away a Curse?
Before the Fall of Adam, God did not intend for procreation in the way it is today. But, when Eve chose to sin and disobey God, in Genesis 3, God punished Eve with an unnatural birth because the Fall of Man was unnatural. So, it’s not that the woman is dirty, but she has now taken on the fall of Eve in a way she didn’t before having a baby.
But even though a woman takes on the Fall of Man in childbirth she is given mercy. St. John Chrysostom writes, that even in the pain of childbirth we are allowed to know God and his mercy because of what follows, “Nevertheless, however, the loving God offered comfort with the pain, so that the satisfaction of bearing the child equally matched those pangs that tortured the womb all those months.”
His mercy for us is abundantly clear because even though Eve’s fall caused the pain of childbirth, he allows us to forget and rejoice when our baby is in our arms — John 16:21.
Another point to consider is when our Lord’s Holy Mother chose to say yes to bearing God as Jesus and gave birth, she united God to man and fulfilled the curse. Tradition teaches us that her birth was both painless and bloodless. She shows that it’s in childbirth that all women are allowed to become co-creators with God.
It can be easy to see the separated time as a curse but the time postpartum is holy. God made women hard-working so he gave us the postpartum time as an opportunity to slow down and draw closer to Him. Yes, even on sleepless nights and fussy days. Those moments of raw surrender draw us closer to Him.
Overview of the Physical and Mental Changes Postpartum
If you’ve had a baby you know that pregnancy can do some strange things to your mind and body. Well, postpartum is no different! It’s a whole new world because you may expect your body to return to the way it was pre-pregnancy but it’s a very different body than before.
The mainstream influence certainly makes it look like princesses and movie stars can heal from birth and move on with their lives. So why not you? Why are you “still” bleeding three weeks postpartum? Why is your baby up every night from 12-3 nursing nonstop? Why can’t you communicate your needs to your sweet husband who is ready and eager to help?
Ultimately, postpartum is uncharted waters. And even though we are designed to forget about the pains of childbirth that doesn’t mean we instantly recover. There is a reason why God told the Israelite women to stay away from the temple. He knew they needed rest.
As much as you may want to move past postpartum and find your new normal, it helps to understand just how significant the changes are to see why the Church still observes the 40 days postpartum.
Immediate Postpartum ~ first 24 hours
Massive hormonal shifts — over 1000% drop in estrogen and progesterone levels.
Vaginal bleeding — lochia — will continue for up to 6 weeks.
Breast changes — Colostrum is present and is the perfect first food for your baby. Breast milk comes in between 3-5 days postpartum.
Baby goes between long naps and small wake windows. He may nurse non-stop or take longer breaks.
You’ll adjust to a time that is light on sleep but high on love.
Early Postpartum ~ 2-15 Days
Milk should be in — you’ll know because your breasts are more full, have apparent veins, and your baby will make audible gulping noises. Prolactin — the milk-making hormone — continues to rise and finds its peak between midnight and dawn. Cluster feeding is normal for baby to help establish the milk supply.
Bleeding is still heavy but will continue to lighten.
Baby continues with nursing, sleeping, and pooping.
You may experience “baby blues”, which may look like uncontrollable crying or laughing. This will resolve and should be met with a hug and normalizing the situation.
Late Postpartum ~ 15-40 days
Breastfeeding is likely becoming easier, initial nipple soreness should be subsiding — if you’re still experiencing pain with nursing consider reaching out to a lactation consultant who can help you adjust your baby’s latch.
Bleeding is pretty light now, like a light period, but still requires a pad and rest.
You may be feeling ready for more activity, try to continue to rest as much as you can while introducing gentle walks and stretching.
Baby will start to differentiate days from nights and start to realize that we only nurse and go back to sleep at night. Encourage your baby with bright daylight during the day and a darkened room through the night
It may seem that some days “all you do” is feed, hold, and change a baby in your 40 days postpartum. But that’s all you “need” to be doing these days. Little by little you’ll find a routine that works for your family only for it to be turned on its head by life. But that’s just it! Life continues and we get to decipher it with a precious new life.
5-5-5 Rule for Postpartum Recovery
You may be itching to get out of the house, but consider this beautiful guideline before you do. The 5-5-5 guide is something I learned in my 3rd pregnancy.
5 Days in bed
5 Days around the bed
5 Days in the home
This gets you to roughly 2 weeks postpartum doing only the essentials: resting, nursing, and eating. I realize that roughly a quarter of women have to return to work at 2 weeks postpartum. But imagine if you rested that entire time! It’s not ideal but it's certainly better than nothing.
The 5-5-5 rule is simply something to be mindful of and it emphasizes the importance of rest in the early postpartum. But rest doesn’t have to mean no prayer life. In fact, some of my most heartfelt prayers have come in the quiet hours of the middle of the night with my nursing babies.
Planning a Liturgical Postpartum
When you’re postpartum, in the dregs of sleep deprivation, blood, milk, sweat, and tears, that is where we meet Our Lord. It’s in those moments that we have the opportunity to cry out to God in supplication or deny His presence.
Postpartum can be challenging, wonderful, easy, joyful, sad, and everything all at once. Keeping Christ at the center of it will make the changes bearable. He is our anchor and firm support after all (Heb 6:19).
Whether this is your first or fifth baby, it’s an adjustment. And each season is new! What worked a week ago won’t work now, but we are dynamic and if we keep a line of communication (prayer) open, we will always have what we need.
Adapt Prayer Life to Postpartum Rest
In the immediate postpartum, if all you can do are prayers and scripture through an audio version, that’s great! Isn’t that what we do in Church? Yes, even in bed while nursing your baby, you can still start your day, whether it's 2 am or 11 am, with your prayers.
There are many incredible church hymns available for digital download or as CDs. I use Spotify for prayers, music, Akathists, and more. But if you don’t have Spotify, Patristic Nectar or Ancient Faith Radio offers a wide variety of Liturgical nourishment.
These days of sitting can also be an incredible time for reading. A few of my favorites through postpartum have been:
A Sacred Beginning: Nurturing Your Body, Mind, and Soul during Baby's First Forty Days by Sarah Brangwynne & Sasha Rose Oxnard
I didn’t discover this book until my 4th baby’s birth. Oh, how I wish I had had it with my first daughter! Sarah and Sasha do such a beautiful job at melding the physical with the spiritual and I found their writing so relatable and filled with so much love.
Wounded by Love is one of the most incredible books I’ve ever read. It can nourish you with a sentence or serve as an all-night vigil. Either way, this is a good one for your bedside table. I wish there was an audible version!
It’s easy for thoughts to attack you at any time of life, but the thoughts of postpartum can be endless. So consider reading this book to act as a shield against bad thoughts and encouragement when they do attack. Our thoughts are so powerful, much more than the world realizes with “mindfulness” practices.
Specific Postpartum Prayers
There are prescribed prayers for the 1st and 8th days postpartum. It’s up to you to discuss with your parish priest when he can come over to pray these prayers. Some priests combine the prayers while others do them individually on the 1st day and then 8th day for the naming.
I love these prayers and although they can seem a bit scary, they are incredible reminders of what we have been through and how we need to honor the mystery of childbearing and childbirth.
Physical Nourishment
Now that you know how to nourish your soul spiritually, let’s talk about the impact of physical nourishment on your postpartum healing.
Nourishing your body postpartum with nutrient-dense, fulfilling food is essential to healing from birth. Whether you had a normal physiological labor or a c-section, whether you’re breastfeeding or formula feeding, you have to give your body the building blocks to heal. Remember in my Whole Foods for Pregnancy article? It’s the food we eat that builds our babies and our bodies!
So when preparing for your postpartum, pre-make as many nourishing meals as possible, set up a meal train, or have your mom or friends come to help take care of you. If you’re still planning your postpartum, why not host a Mother Blessing or a nesting party to ensure you have plenty of nourishing meals on hand?
A note on fasting while postpartum: most priests will prescribe that women do not fast because her fast is of a different sort. Fr. Josiah Trenham writes, “During the days following birth-giving the mother does not fast and mortify her bodily members in applying herself to the ascetic life of the Church like she does normally, and this abstinence of the mother is blessed by the Church canonically (for the mother's body has already been humbled without the assistance of fasting).” But please, always speak to your spiritual father about your specific situation. And check out my blog here about fasting while pregnant or nursing.
Connection
Once the initial transition wears off — this differs for everyone — it may be appropriate to have company over for connection.
Whether you want a hug from a church friend dropping off food, or you want to share your birth story with your girlfriend over a cup of tea; connection is essential during postpartum. Better yet, ask your friends to pray with you! So you get spiritual nourishment and connection.
And don’t forget the importance of connecting with your husband. You were married to him before you had a baby and you’ll be with him when the child grows and leaves. So don’t be afraid to be intentional with connection in your 40 days.
Of course, I’m not saying you need to be intimate in the marriage bed, but talk with him, tell him how you’re feeling, ask how he’s feeling, and do your very best not to minimize the transition it is for him. You are the one who gave birth and will do a lot of the caretaking, but your husband is your helpmeet, lean on him.
The 40 Days Postpartum Are Over Now What?
That’s it! You’re back to normal! Just. Kidding. Life as you know it will never be the same but for the best of reasons! Your darling baby is with you and your husband and now you have the opportunity to raise a child for the Kingdom of God.
Every day will bring something new and you will find more confidence as a parent. See, postpartum doesn’t just “go away” after 40 days. Your body is still adjusting to the change in hormones, your organs are slowly moving back into their proper place, and your pelvic floor needs to lengthen and strengthen again. Etc, etc.
And now, after 40 days, you are welcomed back into the Church! It’s a beautiful prayer service where the priest prays over the mother and baby, cleansing them from childbirth and any hardship that may have been experienced. Please speak to your priest about the proper protocol for churching postpartum.
I pray you see the wisdom in the Church's observation of the 40 days postpartum. It isn’t a punishment! It’s a mercy. And if we allow ourselves to lean into the mercy and accept the help, we may find ourselves in a much more rested and nourished position than ever before.
