Everything You Didn’t Want to Know About Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss
If you’re here, I pray it’s only because you want to learn about miscarriage for knowledge's sake. But chances are, that’s not why you’re here. My guess is that you’re worried you may be having a miscarriage or you’ve already had a miscarriage and you want more information moving forward.
Whatever your reason for being here, I’m glad you are—especially if the information will make your situation easier to bear. I’m going to explore the different types of miscarriage, the differences between expected, medical, and surgical management of a miscarriage, and what to expect moving forward from a miscarriage. You can read my personal experience with miscarriage here.
I want to add the caveat that many articles will talk about a miscarriage as a medical event with jargon such as “products of conception”. I will not be using that language. I believe that a baby is a baby no matter how small and even if your baby passed shortly after a missed period, he or she was not simply “a clump of cells”.
May it be blessed.
*Please remember, that this information is for educational purposes only and should not be taken as medical advice.*
What Is a Miscarriage?
A miscarriage is the sudden loss of pregnancy before 20 weeks. It’s much more common than regularly discussed and even though more women are open with their miscarriage stories, it still comes with a negative connotation. Unfortunately, the term miscarriage implies you did something wrong and didn’t carry your baby properly, but that is never the case.
Nearly one in four pregnancies end in miscarriage with the vast majority happening before the end of the 1st trimester and most of them are from a chromosomal anomaly that couldn’t be prevented. We also don’t know the will of God. We don’t know why he allows certain tragedies to befall us but we can be certain it’s for our Salvation.
I can say without a shadow of a doubt that my miscarriage brought me closer to our Lord. Was it easy? No. But, it did help me to put my trust in Him in a way I never had before.
Signs & Symptoms of a Miscarriage
Signs and symptoms of a miscarriage vary depending on what kind of miscarriage you are experiencing and how far along in the pregnancy you are.
A spontaneous miscarriage close to your missed period may only result in slightly heavier bleeding and small clots. But the further you get in the pregnancy, the more developed your baby and its placenta may be, so your body will have to work much harder to expel it.
Additionally, if you experience a missed miscarriage, then your body retains your baby and/or his placenta for days or weeks before any of the following symptoms occur.
Regardless signs of a miscarriage include
Severe cramping or pelvic pain
Vaginal Bleeding
Tissue discharge or clots with heavy bleeding
An ultrasound showing a nonviable baby for gestation
If you’re experiencing any of these, it requires prayer and most likely watchful waiting. There is nothing that can be done to prevent a miscarriage. There are measures you can take to be healthy and decrease your chances of miscarrying but ultimately, only God can determine a time to live and a time to die.
If you desire medical attention because you’re worried about a possible miscarriage, reach out to your medical provider for guidance.
Common Causes of Miscarriage
Nearly 60% of miscarriages that happen between 6 and 10 weeks occur because of a chromosomal anomaly, which simply means the baby’s DNA wasn’t properly formed. Additionally, it’s thought that some inflammation or problems with one’s immune system may influence the chances of a miscarriage.
Uncontrolled diabetes
Chronic infections
Hormonal problems
Uterine or cervical problems
Obesity
Thyroid disease
All of the above cause stress on the body due to inflammation. Does this mean that all women with the above issues will miscarry? Certainly not. But her chances are higher when compared to a woman without the above health issues.
What does NOT cause a Miscarriage?
Though you may be tempted to ponder if you did anything wrong, chances are, you didn’t. Exercise, intimacy with your husband, stress, use of hormonal birth control, and even that glass of wine you had before your positive pregnancy test DID NOT cause your miscarriage.
God is much greater than any stress from work or a glass of wine. Try to release that negative thought that you may have caused a miscarriage.
What was left of my baby and his placenta after a loss at 6 weeks and finally miscarrying at 11 weeks.
Different Types of Miscarriage
Our bodies are curious and can act in ways that seem foreign to us. I know I felt that way when I experienced two back-to-back missed miscarriages. There are a few different classifications for miscarriages so I want to discuss them if your provider uses terminology you don’t understand.
A spontaneous miscarriage is when the baby passes away and you immediately begin to miscarry – the severity of the process will depend on how far along in the pregnancy you are.
A chemical pregnancy is commonly used when you have an early positive pregnancy test but then begin – what looks like – your period shortly thereafter.
A blighted ovum occurs when the embryo, which rapidly develops into a baby and placenta, doesn’t grow into a baby. So, the other normal parts that are required for a healthy baby grow and produce HCG (the pregnancy hormone that causes a positive pregnancy test) but the baby never forms.
A missed miscarriage occurs when the baby stops growing and dies but your body doesn’t recognize the loss for a time. For example, your baby could’ve stopped growing at six weeks but your body doesn’t labor and deliver till 12 weeks.
A septic miscarriage is when you have a severe infection along with a baby who has passed.
There is also a differentiation between an early miscarriage vs. a late miscarriage. Early miscarriage is a loss before 12 weeks and 6 days gestation. A late miscarriage is a loss between 13 weeks and 19 weeks 6 days gestation. After 20 weeks, it’s no longer a miscarriage but a stillbirth.
What To Do During a Miscarriage
A miscarriage can be an extremely intimate and powerful event. A time when you are connected to our Lord and experience His presence. It can also be a traumatic event filled with unnecessary intervention and trauma.
In the majority of situations, most women can have their miscarriage at home and recover at home. Though situations of infection and hemorrhage should be cared for under professional guidance for the health of the mother, it can and should still be done with dignity and care. Then some situations warrant medical or surgical management.
Expected Management
Expected management of a miscarriage simply means you let physiology take its course. Your body knows what’s best, because of God’s perfect design, and if that means miscarriage, then it will know what to do.
Depending on how far along you are, will determine how much of a labor you experience. It’s rarely “just a heavy period”. I experienced 6 hours of labor with varying strengths of contractions when I should have been around 11 weeks pregnant. I finally delivered on the toilet once my cervix opened enough to allow my baby’s placenta through.
You can lose a substantial amount of blood though it can be hard to quantify if you’re laboring on the toilet. But you should be aware of the signs and symptoms of a hemorrhage which are:
Losing consciousness
A cold and clammy feeling
Increased heart rate
Shortness of breath
If you experience any of these during a miscarriage at home, you want to call your doctor and communicate your situation.
Once your body has passed the baby and/or placenta, your bleeding and contractions should decrease. You can then retrieve your baby and placenta if you’re able to and decide how to honor his or her life. I was able to bury both of my miscarried babies and that was extremely healing.
If you can’t identify a baby and/or placenta because it was too early, then you may only gauge when the miscarriage is complete by the lack of bleeding and cramps/contractions.
Medically Managed Miscarriage
A medically managed miscarriage means you take pharmaceuticals to hasten the process of miscarriage. There are a few different reasons why you may want to take pharmaceuticals over waiting but the choice should be left in your hands after thorough education with your care provider.
Misoprostol and Mifepristone are the most common pharmaceutical drugs used to complete a miscarriage. They can be taken orally or vaginally. Studies show that when mifepristone is used in conjunction with misoprostol the miscarriage can happen more swiftly. Antibiotics are not recommended unless signs and symptoms of infection are present. You will likely complete the miscarriage within 24 hours of starting the pharmaceuticals.
Common side effects are cramping, vaginal bleeding, diarrhea, and nausea. Please speak to your doctor about other adverse reactions.
Prepping for a D&C after my second missed miscarriage.
Surgically Assisted Miscarriage
Surgical management of miscarriage is recommended when expectant and medical management are not safe due to infection, bleeding, or one’s inability to handle changes in blood pressure. Surgical management may also be recommended if the mother’s mental health and desire dictate – which was the case in my situation.
Dilation and curettage (D&C) is the preferred method. It uses a sharp curette inserted into the vagina and then used to suck out the contents — your baby, his placenta, and/or remaining tissues. A D&C can be performed in your doctor's office or hospital and is usually done with “conscious sedation”, which simply means you're given pharmaceutical drugs to dull your sensations, but you’re not under general anesthesia. During my D&C with my second miscarriage, I remember going into the surgical theater, and then I woke up in recovery, that’s it.
There are a few risks with a D&C including poking (perforating) through your uterine wall, cervical laceration, the development of tissue adhesions, or infection. Please discuss all risks and make an informed decision with your care provider.
Where to Go From Here
Once the miscarriage is complete, the real work begins. Now you have to figure out a way to live without the baby you dreamed of. Whether you were pregnant for 1 or 19 weeks, you can’t deny the love that grew as your baby did.
Your body has to adjust to the hormone shifts and your physiology will always remember the baby you carried. Try to treat a miscarriage like you would postpartum of a full-term baby. Though you may not need six weeks to recover, your body needs to rest and recover for a time. If you’re comfortable asking for help — which I strongly encourage you to do — a meal train or house cleaning help is absolutely appropriate after the loss of a baby. Lean on your husband, family, and parish community as much as you’re able.
Speaking of your husband, be aware that he may grieve very differently from you. Pray for your husband, communicate with him, and try to give him the space he needs to grieve.
Finally, though I dive into resources in another article, don’t forget to talk to your priest about prayers during a miscarriage and then after a miscarriage. If you have a cemetery you may want to bury the baby there or choose a spot that is special to you and your husband.
Again, if you are going through a miscarriage or are worried you may be, my prayers are with you. You may be tempted to rage at God, I certainly did, but don’t turn away from the one who loves you and knows you the best. He is with you in the mire. Leave a comment below and I will add you to my prayer list.
FAQ About Miscarriage
When can I try to conceive again after a miscarriage?
Generally, you can try to conceive when you feel ready to conceive. If your body ovulates and you feel ready for intimacy with your husband, there is no medical reason to abstain. Any advice is contrary to evidence-based information. Pray and communicate with your husband.
Is there anything I can do to prevent a miscarriage?
Though you can do everything “right” — eating healthy foods, exercising, decreasing stress, etc. — there is no way to prevent a miscarriage. Only God can control life and death. Do your best to be healthy, calm, and prayerful, and give over control to God who knows the perfect plan for you.
If I have a miscarriage in the hospital can I take my baby home to bury her?
You may need to fill out paperwork but, yes, it’s your body and baby; all you need to do is make it clear that you want to bring your baby home.
