6 Steps to Creating a Christian Blessingway
The tradition of celebrating motherhood is found in many parts of the world. But for some reason, in the United States, we seem to believe that motherhood is less than other career options. And by undervaluing motherhood, we undervalue the transition. Often only celebrating the baby and asking how the baby is doing.
Fortunately, there’s a new trend of hosting a mother’s shower instead of a baby shower. Instead of coming together and giving gifts that are only for the baby, a group of close friends or family come together to honor the mother and help her prepare for her postpartum.
I love this tradition. The more babies I have the more I realize it’s the postpartum period that needs preparation. Labor and birth are a few days long, whereas postpartum is a whole new season.
While mother and baby are healing and bonding, life still goes on. Meals need to be prepared, older children must be cared for, and homes continue to run but the recovering mother shouldn’t be left to coordinate all of this while recovering.
So when a friend asked me to create a guide for a Christian mother blessing I was honored. I think it’s a beautiful idea to take a secular gathering and sanctify it for a Christian home. Whether you're a first-time mom or having your fifth baby, you can still honor this time with a gathering filled with people you love and centered on prayer.
What is a Blessingway or Mother Blessing?
Traditionally, a mother’s way, blessingway, or mother’s blessing comes from the Navaho people of America. It was used to celebrate the pregnant woman and her transition to motherhood. Women come together and celebrate the mother carrying life, pray for her, pamper her, and share stories of love and encouragement.
Unfortunately, most of the information available right now makes a Mother’s blessing into a pagan practice. They gather around crystals, burn sage, and allow energy movement within the circle, all in the name of comforting and uplifting the pregnant mother.
So, clearly, as Christians we may be uncomfortable doing a Blessingway ceremony. But what if we do as many saints of the Church have done and take the good and use it to the Glory of God?
St. Paul, St. Herman of Alaska, St. Olga of Alaska, St. John of Shanghai, and many others, discuss the importance of sanctifying the culture. Rather than throwing out the baby with the bath water, we take pieces of cultural practice and bring them into Christian understanding.
Therefore, I believe it’s possible to host a Christian Blessingway.
Creating a Christian Mothers Celebration
Essentially, instead of throwing a baby shower for the mother and only celebrating the baby, you celebrate the mother. Blessingways are a time to come together and honor the Creator's plan.
You honor the new mother’s transformation from maiden to mother and uplift her in her new role. This gathering can be filled with prayer, encouragement, nourishment, and service. They are usually toward the end of pregnancy when the mother needs more encouragement to make it to the birth.
Throughout the bible and most of history, women gather together to celebrate and welcome the new life. A Blessingway is an opportunity to wash one another's feet and meet the needs of someone we love.
When creating an environment filled with the peace of God, there are a few elements that are important. Prayer, peace, intention, and the people gathered all contribute to how the environment feels. Jesus says, “Where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am also” Mathew 18:19, so if we create a space that welcomes Jesus Christ and his holy saints we can honor His plan and providence while loving on the new mother.
Step 1: Start With Prayer
As with everything else in the Orthodox Church, we start with prayer. If the home has an icon corner, you can start there, and if not, you can create a space quite easily. *If you are not an Orthodox Christian, you can easily adapt this portion into you style of prayer.*
Simply place an icon of Christ and the Theotokos (the Virgin Mary) with incense burning and a candle lit on a flat surface. Then you can either pray the Akathist to the Mother of God or Paraklesis service. Both of these services can be adapted for laity practice and don’t require a priest. See below for both services.
After the small prayer service, you can thank God for the food present and dig in!
Step 2: Nourishment!
What gathering is complete without a good meal? Not one filled with sugar and processed food but an intentional meal served by those gathered to nourish everyone.
Warm and delicious soups, fresh sourdough bread, seasonal fruits and veggies, and of course, something sweet too, can all be present.
This meal can be served around a beautifully laid table with room for everyone. A meal is a great place to start with fostering encouragement and uplifting stories to fill the pregnant mother with hope and excitement.
Step 3: Encouragement and Advice
If you have ever been pregnant, you know that the world likes to nitpick you. “Your belly is too small/too big” “You’re not gaining enough!” “Should you be eating that?” “My goodness you’ve got how much longer??”
Let this Mother’s blessing be the opposite of the world. Embrace the pregnant mother with words of love and blessing. Shower her with good stories of birth and help her believe how capable her body is of giving birth.
You can each come prepared with your favorite scripture verse that personally touched you through a difficult trial. Then the compiled list of scripture verses can be used for her own birth affirmations during labor.
This time together should be very intentional, all women present should abstain from any negative birth stories unless specifically asked for by the pregnant mother. Women at the end of pregnancy are so vulnerable to negative advice and they get enough of it from the world.
Step 4. Get to work!
This step is totally dependent on what the mother wants done. If the blessingway is hosted at her home and she wants help deep cleaning the fridge and top of cupboards, this can be a great opportunity to help her nest.
I have had a different nesting need through my four pregnancies. During my fourth pregnancy I had the strongest desire to clean my carpets. It was such a wild instinct but I wasn’t able to accomplish it on my own because of how uncomfortable I was. It didn’t happen before Joanna was born, but I wish that I had had a group of ladies to support me in my nesting instinct.
And I know it sounds silly! Who needs clean carpets before the baby is born? No one. But hormones do some funny things.
But, if you’re not at the pregnant woman's home, you can take this time together to meal prep. Freezer meals are SO helpful postpartum, even if it's only for the mother. She will rest easier knowing that she has nourishing meals on hand that will help her heal and breastfeed.
My favorite freezer meals include:
Chicken and rice soup
Oatmeal Congee
Homemade sausage and egg English muffins
Sheet pan roasted sweet potatoes and ground beef
I can eat any of these all throughout the day and they are warm and nourishing.
Step 5: Plan for Postpartum
The house is clean… for now. There are meals in the freezer… for a few days. But when the going gets tough, the pregnant mother — now nursing mother — is going to need reinforcements in the early weeks postpartum.
Meal trains, housekeeping, babysitting, or dog walking are all essential tasks that the mother should not be performing. Yes, she has a husband but he will likely be working, caring for other children, and caring for his recovering wife.
So, the friends who are close by can come once or twice a week with a meal or to play with the kiddos. Your presence in your friend's home can greatly help with the postpartum recovery.
Step 6: Birthing Space Prep
Whether the mother is planning a hospital birth or home birth, there are ways to plan for a space that is peaceful and God-filled.
Instead of bringing gifts for the baby, I suggest bringing gifts for the mother to have during her birth.
Essential oils instead of incense
Nourishing snacks
Hydration
Helping the mother bring Christ into her birth space will go miles in helping her create a place of calm and peace.
Activity Ideas for Your Orthodox Blessingway
If you have the time, activities can be a nice way to share love and prayer with the mother-to-be. It can be an opportunity to share your experience and fill her with encouragement and wisdom. Kh. Destiny at The Ascetic Life of Motherhood, threw a beautiful Orthodox Blessingway and has such beautiful ideas for activities.
She describes,
“Prayer Bead Wisdom: We had a bowl of various beads and asked each woman choose two beads, and then we went around the room and shared something encouraging to the mom and shared about a godly woman in their life who has impacted them. These beads will be then strung onto a bracelet and given to the mama to take home.
Prayer Candle: We had a plain medium sized white candle and several colored taper candles available. The women took turns, lighting one colored candle and dropped the melting wax on the white one while making a silent prayer for the mother. I displayed the prayer for a woman in labor by Emilia’s Post so they can use that if they chose to. The now colorful candle is for the mom to take home and use during labor, a reminder of all the prayers spoken for her by her sisters in Christ.
Take Home Votive Candle: We had votives with icons on them (mod podge!) for the women to take home to light and pray for the mama during labor.
Create Birth Affirmations: Using the Scriptures of special quotes, you can come up with some birth affirmations for the mama, and even decorate them with watercolor pens. “
I think all of these activities can serve the mother and her community in such Christ-like love.
Come Together and Celebrate the Mother with a Christian Blessingway
The end of pregnancy can be so challenging. The pregnant woman’s mind, body, and soul are doing so much work to prepare for labor and birth. That’s why a Blessingway is a perfect end-of-pregnancy gathering.
Bringing an Orthodox Christian ethos into a secular idea is nothing new. We are called to sanctify the world we live in, so what better way than celebrating God's great design in pregnancy and birth?
Have you considered throwing a blessingway or do you want one hosted for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below. And don’t forget to share this guide with a friend or family member who can help you create a Christian Blessingway.
Prayer Services for a Christian Blessingway
PDF Download for Akathist to the Mother of God
